One month ago today my daughter Isis and I arrived to Nashville. To an apartment my hubby was waiting for us in and one that would soon take on the name of the “Nash Pad.” Arriving with only what would fit in my Eclipse (note: very small car) that was also occupied by our 11 year old Chihuahua, Diamond. A moving truck would not be bringing our furniture from our house in Orlando. Only the postman will ring the bell to deliver boxes of clothes we shipped before we left. No beds, no sofa, no tv. Why would we make this kind of change in our lives?
It’s been interesting to watch reactions to this move.
Why Nashville? Must be nice to have two places to live. You must have a lot of money. You did this for your child?
What about your husband? Why not just let her go on her own? You have to let go of your daughter at some point.
What about your own life? What if nothing happens in Nashville? What if it’s all for nothing?
My first response is, we would have gone where ever He led. This was one of the greatest leaps of faith our family has ever taken. (no pressure Isis 🙂 ) A leap of faith I knew in my spirit for the past 3-4 years. A leap my family, including Isis was dead set against. Leave our home? Leave our friends? Leave our church? I remember first telling Isis that I was feeling God move in my spirit that we would be moving. She cried. At 14 those were hard words to hear. After all, God had not placed this on her heart yet. I told her, all in His timing. If it’s to be, He will do the work in her heart. My husband was not near as receptive to even the thought. It actually placed a strain on our relationship. One that I knew God would take care of. I will add that it took patience. A lot of Patience. I slowly, slowly watched God work on His heart to even be open to the idea. It has only been during the past 3 weeks that I have seen a shift in his heart. Just because everyone is not in sync, does not mean it is not His will. He has His own timing with each of us. I just trusted that if moving to Nashville was truly His will, He would take care of it.
Did we do this for our daughter? The easy answer would seem to be yes. But when I dig deeper, it really is because of Him. I never like to say, God told me to do or say something. What I can say is the prompting I felt down in the core of my heart. Her ministry of music was not going to stay in Orlando. Who is her ministry for? Her? or Him? It’s for His Glory so He is why we did it. Do we have a lot of money? Simply, no. We filed bankruptcy 3 years ago, we closed the doors to our company of 21 years, last year. It is only by God that we are able to be doing what we are. We have always been givers. He has always given back.
Noelle, you will have to let go of Isis one day! How many times I hear that. Isis and I have an extremely close relationship. You will be able to read more about that over in ‘Called to Parent’ & ‘Nurturing the Artist that is Your Child.’ (new categories here) When Isis was 10-13, she was Broadway bound. That meant her moving to the heart of New York City. I started looking for summer sessions for her to attend at TISCH and other programs to send her to during the summers. When she began leading worship at 14 and wanted to drop all of her theatre classes, dance classes, and vocal sessions, we let her. I began looking into Hillsongs in Australia, Bethel, and Oceans Edge, to send her off to. Ready to send her where ever God wanted her to be. Now though, following her own music vision meant coming to Nashville. Nashville is a city. Not a college, or a program built from a church that provides guidance, protection… walls. I am not supposed to let go of her yet. I have been on the road as a professional singer. Singing 4-5 nights a week, traveling across the country with a band as the lead singer. I have walked that path as a 19 year old girl until I was 22. That is not a path I want her on without us yet. She is so pure of heart. I will stay as much a part of her path that God keeps me on. So I will turn my cheek to the judgment of many who would question my stance. 🙂
What if it’s all for nothing? I have put my ministry/company Christian Women Affiliate pretty much on auto pilot the past 8 months. After out of fear of not being able to maintain my company with all of this going on, I put it up for sale in Jan 2011. Offers poured in, but there was something about each one of them that left me with no peace. Once again, I felt the nudge in my spirit to not sell it, that God wanted me to trust Him through this. Which is what He has done. He has been the Pilot of CWA the past 8 months, so I could focus where I needed to. Nothing is for nothing. He will use everything…if we let Him. Who can say what nothing is anyway?? How do we define that? Is it all for ‘nothing’ if she doesn’t ‘make it’? What does ‘make it’ mean?
Making it, for me, is doing what God has called you to do, where He called you to do it from.
This move is not about filling an arena one day. It’s not about signing with a huge record label. We do not know how His plan will unfold for Isis. We just know that moving to Nashville was to be part of the journey. Not only for her, but for us as a family. So I am off to chill on my air mattress, and stream a show through my computer Mac. I hear HBO GO calling… maybe a little ‘In Treatment‘ tonight. (there’s something about watching people in therapy that I like…)